Family

Escape From Suburbia

ESCAPE FROM SUBURBIA
by Sherri Caldwell – The Rebel Housewife®
https://rebelhousewife.com

The suburbs offered one form of happily-ever-after; but, at a certain point, we had to get out.

As far as suburbs go, “Stepford of the South” was very nice: big houses, two-and-even-three-car garages, enormous lawns. It was like having your own private park, front and back. Of course, the front yard was for show, purely ornamental. The back yard was for living.

Not that anyone wanted or needed privacy. Stepford was a community, a haven for People Like Us, with families and neighbors destined to become Friends For Life. It was written into the sales contract, and the neighborhood bylaws.

After all, we paid extra for upscale family storage. The corporate bosses of our hard-working commuter dads paid well to keep the family far enough away, with a large enough mortgage and household expenses, to ensure job dedication and healthy separation.

Every Monday, the husbands went to work. The children went to school. The wives kept house, shopped, socialized and maintained a busy schedule of community and school-related commitments, basically running the world from their designated PTA regiments.

In the afternoon, the children came home, briefly, and were then carpooled to their various activities. Dinner was inevitably a la drive-thru. The husbands came home late and scrounged for leftovers. Exhausted from the daily round, bedtime came early, after homework and school projects. Repeat through Friday.

The weekends were sacrificed to the Gods of Lawn Care– Olympics-worthy competition amongst the men, all weekend, every weekend.

My Prince Charming became a commuting, work-in-the-city, weekend-lawn-warrior stranger. When I realized I was spending far more quality time with my crazy neighbor, a doctor’s wife, than my own husband, the suburban fairytale started to break down.

The big, roomy house with lots of space became too much to maintain, to clean, to keep track of young people and family pets. I realized I hadn’t seen my middle child for five years in this mausoleum.

As for the lawn… You know, the city offers and maintains municipal parks. They are generally bigger and better-equipped. And you don’t have to feed every random child who wanders through.

Friends For Life and People Like Us had been selling points, but who can stand their own company interminably, without any variety? We began to plot our escape. From Soccer Moms and Minivans, to the diversity of the city, where we belonged.

The stranger we called Daddy transformed from an exhausted commuter/weekend warrior to a healthy, happy and involved father who walks to work and is home every night for dinner. All of a sudden, he’s always there, where and when he hadn’t been before. While it takes some getting used to, we got out just in time.

—
Sherri Caldwell, The Rebel Housewife®, is an author, columnist and reviewer at www.RebelHousewife.com. After many years as a PTA Mom in the suburbs, she now lives happily-ever-after with her husband, three teenagers, and Mocha-the-Dog, in a midtown high-rise in Atlanta, Georgia.

CALDWELL GRADUATES NAVY BASIC TRAINING

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

08/23/2013



Zachary Aaron Caldwell, son of Russ & Sherri Caldwell of Midtown Atlanta, and a 2013 graduate of Henry W. Grady High School, recently completed Navy Boot Camp at the U.S. Navy Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, Illinois.

Seaman Caldwell successfully completed the eight-week program of intensive training, which culminated in the twelve-hour, overnight exam, Battle Stations 21, aboard the USS Trayer, the Navy’s high-tech disaster simulator (as featured on CNN).

Because of his previous JROTC leadership experience at Grady High School, Caldwell served as his Division #313 AROC – Asst Recruit Chief Petty Officer, 2nd in command, during Boot Camp.

He was promoted in the last week of Basic Training and led his Division #313 as RPOC – Recruit Chief Petty Officer, 1st in Command, in the formal Pass In Review Graduation Ceremony on 23 August 2013. There were 871 graduating Sailors in 11 divisions on that date.

Seaman Caldwell reported to the Center for Information Dominance – Corry Station, Pensacola, Florida, on 24 August 2013 to begin 22 weeks “A School” Training as an Information Systems Technician (IT).




Where Is Your Kid Going To College?

“Where Is Your Kid Going To College?”

The #1 most-often-asked question, as your child approaches his/her senior year of high school. Here it is, people, Part 1 of a new series in our continuing adventure on RebelHousewife.com: NAVY MOM.

Proud Navy Mom image

My son is going into the Navy. He graduated from high school in May, and left for Basic Training, at Great Lakes Naval Recruit Training Center, outside of Chicago, just 30 days later. I am so proud of him, so excited for him, and I experienced such surprising devastation as the time came, and we handed our 18-year-old son over to the U.S. Military.

This is a kid who has never loved the academic aspects of school, although he is very bright and highly technical. If he could have earned his high school diploma in Mythbuster’s Science, MAKE Magazine, technology, video games, and taking things apart, he would have been a 4.0 student. Upon graduation, with decent grades, he just wanted to GO — get out of Georgia! — BE and DO. He is ready for adventure, and after the 13-year slog through public education…GO, Zac, GO!

His interest in the military was a surprise to us. He enrolled in the high school JROTC program after a presentation about elective choices in 8th grade. At the time, he was stumbling and grumbling through the dark tunnel of puberty — a good kid, but for a year or two there, between 13 and 15, he lived furtively in his room or out in the wild, with not much to say to the parents. (It was such a relief when he turned 16 and emerged from the tunnel into a much more pleasant and interactive young man. What finally brought him out? He wanted to get his driver’s license and drive our car.)

During that angsty time, I think the structure and discipline of the military, the community and brotherhood, attracted him in a way that 15 years of attempted structure and discipline at home, obviously, had not.

We didn’t hear too much about JROTC in 9th grade. Granted, he still wasn’t talking much, at that point. In 10th grade, things started to get serious. He kept his hair cut short and got up earlier than he even knew the day existed to run and work out. He was careful to arrange his schedule to show up for events and activities. He participated in all the extra-curriculars: Raiders, Drill Team, Rifle Team, parades, charity drives, academic competitions, community service. He asked us to help out, and by the end of 10th grade, we had become the JROTC Mom & Dad for 180 cadets: driving to meets and practices, cheering them on, providing field support (FOOD) at weekend competitions, and organizing Honors & Award Ceremony receptions (FOOD).

During that sophomore year, his high school JROTC program had strong student leadership, with two of the leaders earning full-ride scholarships to West Point Military Academy. Under that impressive example, Zac started taking JROTC even more seriously.

By 11th grade, he earned his commendation in the Saber Day Ceremony and became a cadet staff officer. His best friend, a fellow JROTC cadet leader, graduated that year and Zac was very interested and impressed with his friend’s direction: Having earned a full four-year scholarship with the Georgia National Guard, he went to Army Basic & Advanced Training that summer/fall, and then started college full-time in January. He will get paid, actually, on top of tuition and expenses, all through college for his Weekend Warrior service, and graduate as an officer.

In Zac’s Senior year, he was Cadet LT COL Caldwell, Battalion Commander in charge of the Grady High School unit. Under his leadership, they earned high honors throughout the year and were awarded #1 Army JROTC in Atlanta Public Schools. He was really good at this military stuff!

He seriously contemplated his future, worked really hard in JROTC and in school, still managing to have enough fun, and get into enough trouble, to fully enjoy his senior year. He started on college applications and the ROTC scholarship process. He scored very highly on the ASVAB, the military entrance test, and felt he did much better on the ASVAB than the SATs.

Ultimately, he decided to enlist. He wanted to GO, BE, and DO — and figured, realistically, college could wait.

After four years in the ARMY JROTC program, immersed in the brotherhood of the ARMY; three summers at ARMY JROTC summer camp at Fort Benning in Columbus, Georgia; and with the best friend going ARMY — we were worried. Although neither my husband nor I served in the military, we are both from Navy families — his Dad was career Navy and my Dad was a Marine. We both grew up on and near Navy bases around the world. We are WATER people.

We attended a Visitor’s Day during one of Zac’s summer camps at Fort Benning — in June. It was a hot, dusty, dirty level of hell (with apologies to the Army people). While we were exuberant in our support of the military, we tried to be subtle about our preferences. After Visitor’s Day, I pointed out to him, subtly, of course, that every Navy base I had ever been on had been so clean, so well-run, so modern — ON THE WATER, beautiful beaches!!! Subtle.

He gave it a lot of thought and talked to a lot of people: his JROTC instructors, family, mentors, friends. He asked us to come along when he talked to both the Army and the Navy recruiters. He really did his research…

He chose NAVY!!! (Thank You, Sweet Little Baby Jesus!) With his ASVAB score, he was able to choose, and contract for, an IT career path, with a top security clearance and a six-year commitment (because of the extra schooling required for the rating).

Funny thing is, after 8 weeks’ Basic Training at Great Lakes, he goes to Pensacola, Florida for 22 weeks — in school! (Hopefully, IT school will be more Mythbusters & MAKE Magazine than academics?) He will have his great adventure on the sea, but he’ll begin working toward his college degree — and getting paid! — at the same time. After his first year or two of active duty, he will have the opportunity to apply for college programs. The Navy will take him off active duty to finish his degree, he can go through Officer Training and finish his career as a “Mustang” (enlisted-turned-officer).

All in good time. This kid needs a year or two…or four, even, if that’s what he wants. There is plenty of time for college and serious girlfriends, a wife, babies and everything else. Better to have his adventure now, before all of that.

OF COURSE I worry about my son in the military — how could I not? But in my Mom’s heart, I know this is the perfect plan for my GO, BE, DO, active son…

And I could not be more proud of him.

Happy Mother’s Day! $25 & Under

Happy Mother’s Day! $25 & Under – Part One

by Sherri Caldwell – The Rebel Housewife®
https://rebelhousewife.com

As a Mom, I could easily rattle off a dozen ways, and more, in which I could be fabulously gifted on Mother’s Day for under $25. (In response to a challenge from NerdWallet — this is probably not what they had in mind, but there you go. I appreciate the great suggestion and motivation to do a Mother’s Day blog post this year!)

Here’s a Quickie: FIVE Best Gifts Under $25 For Mom:


  1. A BOOK (my most-favorite thing!) or gift card to Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. Specific suggestion? Shameless plug: Rebel Housewife Rules: To Heck With Domestic Bliss! or anything by Erma Bombeck — trust me, she’ll love it.

  2. Lunch at my favorite restaurant. You do know Mom’s favorite restaurant, right? (This Mom’s is La Fonda Latina – Atlanta).
  3. Candles/Flowers (preferably plants) – so many choices! Check this out:
    Candles (BBW) — Ooh, how ’bout them candles? (LOVE those flameless ones for outside!)
  4. CHOCOLATE — and not the cheap stuff you can buy in the check-out lane at the grocery store; at least go to the candy aisle and get some decent truffles. Look for Lindt LINDOR Assorted Chocolate Truffles. Yum.
  5. Jewelry — watches, earrings, bracelets/anklets, oh my! — Amazon Jewelry Sale.
    My top picks — and, coincidentally, Happy Mother’s Day to ME:





There you go…easy! Now, if you want to go super-special, under-under $25, check Part Two for some other thoughts and ideas:

Happy Mother’s Day! $25 & Under – Part Two

Mother’s Day: Thru the Years

As a new mother, 18 years ago, for my first and five-or-so subsequent Mother’s Days, I needed nothing more than TIME — for myself. The greatest imaginable gift for those early, blissful, exhausted Mother’s Days would have been a coupon book or certificate of offerings from friends, family, husband, neighbors…anyone…TIME: an offer to change a diaper; baby’s hour out; nap-time for Mommy; Date Night w/Daddy; 15 minutes to go to the bathroom or take a shower; a delivered meal. All free, or nearly so, but of inestimable worth to the new Mommy. (Of course, jewelry is always appropriate, especially birth-stone jewelry or mother’s jewelry — or diamonds, always perfect! Not necessarily under $25, or under-under, but I digress…)

Five years later (noting I had three children, age five & under, at this point), I treasured every toddler and kid-made arts & crafts symbol of love: the macaroni necklaces, handpainted plant pots; “stained glass” paper creations, thumbprint-decorated cardstock photo frames, ceramic handprints in clay. If my kids slapped glue and glitter paint on a stick, I loved it. I can still visualize those precious gifts, wrapped in simple tissue paper, so eagerly given by those little hands, the super-big-hugs. I still have many of those wonderful, priceless gifts.

As the mother of teenagers, 13 years later, there is a cat’s-in-the-cradle aspect to everything, and the ideal gift is TIME — with my kids. Appreciation. “I love you, Mom.” A family dinner at home (without having to cook or clean up after) — “you take it easy today, Mom.” A kid who might pick up their own dirty clothes, turn their own stinky socks rightside out, even run a load of laundry — woo! Another excellent idea for teenagers: help Mom with the TECHNOLOGY! Set up a ringtone for her; show her how to download and listen to music she would actually like, or a cool app; figure out for her why it’s making that noise, or that light keeps flashing, or why it won’t do what I want it to (whatever it is).

As a Mom, I can tell you– Mother’s Day does not need to be expensive or extravagant — truly, it shouldn’t be — to be special. How these 18 years slipped away so quickly, I don’t know. Everyone said they would, and they were right.

So relax.

The happiest Mother’s Days are completely free: “I love you, Mom. Thank you.”
I need to go get a nose-wipie (Kleenex) now…
Happy, Happy Mother’s Day – Make it Special.

Reality TV – Casting Call: MONSTER IN-LAWS

While this would not apply to me, Sherri Caldwell, happily-ever-after daughter-in-law of Ralph & Judi (kiss-kiss!), I have been asked to share what could be a rather…um…unique opportunity for..reality television fame (infamy?)…Check it out:

Hi Sherri,

My name is Lindsay, and I am an associate producer for Leftfield Pictures, the television production company behind History Channel’s Pawn Stars, Bravo’s Fashion Hunters, and A&E’s Monster In Laws.

We are currently casting for the second season of Monster In Laws, a program that looks to repair broken relationships with in-laws that don’t see eye to eye. I would love to reach out to moms everywhere who may be struggling with in-law issues…

————————————————–

“MONSTER IN-LAWS” on A&E Is Now Casting Nationwide

“A ground-breaking new series that explores the complex relationships between married couples and their in-laws.”

Are you struggling to maintain a relationship with an out-of-control in-law?

Is a cultural or background divide challenging your relationship?

Does the statement, “When mom/dad says no, ask grandma/grandpa” ring true in your family?

Does your mother or father-in-law still baby your husband/wife, challenge your parenting style or openly disrespect you?

If you’re desperate to repair your relationship with an in-law before it’s too late, we want to hear from you! Families who appear on the show will have the opportunity to work with a professional relationship expert who will help them to identify their issues and repair their relationships. Families who appear on the show will receive a financial honorarium as a “thank you” for their time and commitment to the show. In addition, we offer a finder’s fee for anyone who nominates a family that appears on the show.

[Note: The Rebel Housewife has not nominated anyone and has not/will not receive consideration of any kind for posting this or from the link below. This was too good not to share!]

[Also Note: However, if any one of you end up being on this show, I better be the first to know and to interview you about it!! GOOD LUCK, REBELS!]

To apply, please fill out a brief casting questionnaire:
http://www.leftfieldpictures.com/in-laws-casting/

—
Lindsay Goyette
Associate Producer
Leftfield Pictures
212-564-2607, ext. 2399
518-522-2304 cell
212-967-7573 fax
lindsay.goyette@leftfieldpictures.com

www.facebook.com/TheRebelHousewife

Perfect Moments

Facebook post – 9/18/2010:
“Grady High School won last night: 61 – 0. Which is kind of hard to even brag about. Perfect football night in our renovated stadium. Ohmygosh, though, the dancers, drill team & flag girls?! Straight out of the movie Baseketball — not our kids’ mothers’ high school marching band!!”

We attended our first high school football game, as high school parents, Friday night. It was a perfect night in our newly-renovated football stadium: temperature just right, slight breeze, clear and beautiful. The stands were filled, but not too full, with adults and kids of all ages.

We found friends in the crowd, and 10yo Boy Phenom was ecstatic to find a group of 5th grade boys that he knew from school last year, to hang out with, visit the concession stand en masse and migrate around the home grandstand, freed for a bit from ever-watchful parents and direct scrutiny. While they roamed, 13yo Drama Queen enjoyed the game and watching the marching bands, Home and Visitor, in the stands and during the half-time show.

For this article, I have to refer to 15yo Puberty Angst Boy in some way more fitting, since our 10th grader, a member of the school’s Army JROTC program, was selected for Color Guard duty, the presentation of the flags at the beginning of the game. We were so proud of him, as the formation of five cadets carried the colors out onto the field in procession. He carried the rifle and marched on the right of the small group, his weapon at proper Shoulder Arms. It is almost more than I can write about to see my son, so tall and handsome, dressed in his full Army JROTC uniform, serving his school, our community, our country. I wouldn’t have thought it was such a big deal, such a proud moment, but it really was. It was a glimpse of the future — however he chooses to fulfill his personal destiny — almost overwhelming.

Of course, then he immediately ditched us for the entire game, hiding up in the grandstand with his friends. We never even saw him after he marched off the field. He barely deigned to answer our text messages when we were leaving — wouldn’t even walk home with us. He is 15, after all.

And, oh, what a half-time show! The girls…wow…glitter, sequins, spandex, body parts and hairography (do you watch GLEE?!) we never even imagined possible or appropriate when I was in the flag corps…yes, 25 years ago, but still!

The game itself was a blow-out: 61 – 0. I couldn’t help feeling sorry for the other team, but our high school players were impressive. When their individual pictures flashed up on the new Jumbo-tron, they looked like grown men, and I am pretty sure there were college and professional scouts in the stands. We have a good team like that, which is pretty cool, even if this was our family’s first football game, our second year at the high school. (Last year, they were renovating the stadium and the games were all played at another high school.)

At the end of the 3rd quarter, it was already 61 – 0, and we were tired, sore (concrete benches), and slightly nauseous from over-sized bags of cotton candy on empty stomachs. We walked home, a quarter-mile across Piedmont Park.

13yo Drama Queen carried her umbrella, swinging and tossing it like the baton girls in the marching band.

10yo Boy Phenom…and these kids are the siblings who constantly fight and bicker, torment and annoy each other, brutally exclude and ignore (at best) — these kids hate each other, right?! You know how other parents always say, “Oh, but if anyone ever messed with one, the others would be the first to defend and protect!” No. Not my kids.

But…10yo Boy Phenom picked up a stick and walked all the way home — carrying that stick at Shoulder Arms, military-style — just like his big brother. That is something I want to remember for the rest of my life. Perfect Moments, indeed.

Camp Mommy: 2010

July 2010 – Forgot to mention there is a NEW Rebel Review up:
BOOK GROUP REVIEWS [new feature!]: The Lost City by Henry Shukman

The summer is ambling along at a fairly quick pace, for summer. The kids are all three active and busy in various activities and we are actually going on a REAL vacation this year (as opposed to tent camping in Talladega, Alabama and our other “value-conscious” family vacation misadventures over the past couple summers!): We have rented a condo in Cocoa Beach for the 4th of July holiday – woo hoo!

Now that the kids are older — 15yo Puberty Angst Boy, 13yo Drama Queen and 10yo ADHD Phenom — Camp Mommy is not as active or in demand. That’s a good thing, on the whole, but still…I kind of miss my cute little campers. The 15yo is either sleeping; on the couch watching TV; on the computer playing World of Warcraft (sometimes both at the same time!); off with his friends; or, last week, away at Army Camp at Fort Benning, Georgia, part of his JROTC program in school, which he loves. The 13yo has herself hooked up with a great job this summer, as a Summer Camp Counselor for a day-camp program in Piedmont Park, which is right across the street, so she, too, is fairly independent and over Camp Mommy. Fortunately, I still have the 10yo, my brilliant, quirky, very bright, very ACTIVE boy. He still loves and appreciates his Mom! (The others do, too, I know.)

The Young One and I have been spending most of the summer at the Georgia Tech CRC (Campus Recreation Center) which is, in a word, amazing! We are very fortunate to enjoy membership and use of the facility (hubby is hooked up like that, since his company is affiliated with the Georgia Tech ATDC – Advanced Technology Development Center). The 10yo doesn’t much care for summer camp programs or crowds, sensory overload in general. He *loves* the CRC, especially the indoor recreational pool, with a big ol’ waterslide (!!!) and, perhaps even more, the separate Olympic Competition Pool & Diving Well (built for the 1996 Summer Olympics hosted in Atlanta), where he can dive to his heart’s content from the low & high diving boards. He loves to dive, go figure. He’s also savvy enough to “join” (kind of) the summer camp program for kids at Georgia Tech — timing our visits to the recreational pool during swim time, so he can play in the pool with a huge group of kids — or not, if he’s not feeling it — and he can leave anytime, go over to the diving well and have the place to himself after the campers leave. Genius. So we spend hours at the CRC and it is wonderful. (There are adult-only hot tubs at both pools and comfortable lounge chairs and a sundeck at the recreational pool — excellent for reading!)

It’s a good summer, 2010, after a season or several of change. I guess that’s what Life is all about, after all.

iPad Mom & Dad

I am blogging on an iPad, which is amazing.

Conveniently enough, Apple released the iPad very close to Dear Hubby’s birthday in March, so I pre-ordered for delivery on Magical Saturday, when the UPS trucks carried the specially-marked boxes to the masses, in many cases under armed escort, Brinks-truck-style. (It sure beat camping out in line at the Apple Store Friday night!)

So we have one — a big one (64 gig memory), which I insist on calling the MaxiPad, much to my husband’s chagrin. (They really should have thought of that during the name branding stage. I love the thing, but the name is unfortunate.). We are trying to come up with a new family moniker for it, since there is a name for everything in our household: The desktop iMac “Big Mac”; our GPS navigation system “Lois” (subtle reference therein, involving Malcolm in the Middle and 2001: A Space Odyssey). The current family truckster is the “Big Blue Deuce” — I don’t always fully understand or remember the references and antecedents myself, but I think that was a mash-up between a NASCAR homage (although we are not fans of Kurt Busch, the driver of the Miller Lite #2 Dodge) and the Robin Williams’ movie RV (the “big [green] turd”).

Anyway. We’re working on it.

Not only has It eased the transition to 44 for my Prince Charming, It has changed our family, technologically. Although we admittedly have plenty of — and perhaps more than enough — screen options in our home, the iPad is in constant demand, and it’s not just the novelty of a new gadget. DH and I constantly have to fight the kids for time on the new toy.

Hubby uses the iPad in the morning, to browse the news and weather from various sources. He has been transitioning, with the iPhone, from our old-school daily and weekend Atlanta Journal Constitution (AJC) to USA Today, which offers the best presentation and format — on the iPhone — of national news and also has a Motor Sports category (for the NASCAR news, of course).

USA Today has not made the best transition to the iPad (where the heck is the much-loved Motor Sports category?!) and there have been rumblings of moving to a paid subscription model, so we’ll see…

Strong contender for news on the iPad: NPR, which Mommy now prefers. And the AJC finally has an app, which is useful for a touch of local news. Just don’t expect much more than that, as our local rag seems to have fired most of their real journalists and editors to pay minimum wage interns to regurg(itate) AP News headlines, pretty much verbatim.

But I digress–

Mommy also likes the iPad as an interactive, easy-to-read, easy-to-wipe-clean source of recipes with pictures, which makes cooking easier and more fun, especially if I switch over to the ABC app in-between and use the iPad as a faux-TV in the kitchen to catch up on my shows. (Actually, who am I kidding? I don’t really watch much TV and the kids appreciate that ABC app way more than I do. Now if I could cue up GLEE while I’m in the kitchen (not the new GLEE app that I am supposed to sing with, the real show), that would be awesome.

For recipes, I like:
AllRecipes Dinner Spinner
Epicurious
and the Crock-Pot iPhone app

I am also addicted to an iPhone game that is way-better on the iPad: Word Warp (kind of like Boggle). Don’t even get me started. I love that game!

This is the point where I need to put the iPad down and go to “Mom’s Mac” to finish this article. While the iPad is very cool and blogging shorts on it is totally do-able, this piece just became a long and I need easier document navigation and formatting tools to review, edit and publish…

(This is not even what I should be working on at the moment, but there you go.)